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OTTAWA • In a shocking development in the federal election, the Bloc Quebecois has garnered more than enough votes to form a majority government in Canada.

Leaders of the other federal parties admitted they were “stunned” by the results, and even Bloc leader Gilles Duceppe said he was as surprised as anyone.

“I don’t know what to say,” Duceppe told Loonienews in an exclusive interview. “Obviously, I thought we would do well in Quebec, but in the rest of Canada — this is a surprise, mais oui.

Pundits are shocked at how such a result could have happened — especially since the Bloc ran no candidates in any ridings outside of Quebec. But Elections Canada officials have ruled out any possibility of tampering or stuffing of ballot boxes.

“Apparently what happened,” said political analyst I.C. Clearly, “is that a lot of people were really mad at the Liberals, but too afraid of either the NDP or the Conservatives. So a lot of them — from Red Deer to Corner Brook to Wawa — registered a protest, voting for the Bloc by adding the party to the bottom of their ballot.

Normally, she said, such protest ballots would be considered spoiled. But because returning officers were finding them in such overwhelming numbers, elections officials decided they had to be counted and presented to the Governor-General.

When the results were tallied, the Bloc had won an overwhelming 221 seats in the 308-seat parliament. After consulting with the chief electoral officer, Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson, in an unprecidented move in Canadian history, decided to allow the votes for the Bloc Quebecois outside of Quebec even though they did not appear on the official ballot. "The people of Canada have sent me a message, and the message is clear," Clarkson said. "The Bloc Quebecois will form the government with a majority." The rival parties, still in shock, are now fighting over who gets to be the official opposition.

In his acceptance speech, Duceppe was quick to clarify his position on Canada and Quebec sovereignity. “Now that we are the government of Canada, we cannot just follow the narrow interests of a Quebec party. We must govern for all of the people of Canada."

“So accordingly, we will immediately pass legislation to allow the rest of Canada to separate from Quebec.”

loonienews.com

LOONIENEWS MISQUOTATION

The Book of Genesis (not to be confused with the music of Genesis)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without humour, and void; and darkness was
upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon
the face of the waters.

And God said, Let there be humour: and there was Loonie News ...

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