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TORONTO • The worst fears of former Ontario premier Ernie Eves were realized recently when the province his party had governed for the past eight years was overrun by an invading force of reptilian kitten-eaters from another planet.

    The alien leader, Skangrat Xrnfgxlz, who goes by the Earth name Dalton McGuinty, declared victory only a few hours later. The invasion had begun shortly after 9 a.m. EST.

    In the streets of Toronto, hordes of pointy-headed reptiles marched from door to door, snatching and eating kittens from the arms of terrified owners. Where there were no kittens, the also grabbed cats, hamsters and small dogs.

    Xrnfgxlz, or McGuinty, declared himself the province’s Supreme Gzrblattz.

    “But you can just call me Premier, if that’s easier” he said.

    “I tried to warn them,” a despondent Eves croaked late last night from his Queen’s Park stronghold. Eves, obviously exhausted from many sleepless nights, looked uncharacteristically unkempt, his hair mussed and his tie loosened around his neck.

    The former premier has barricaded himself inside his Queen’s Park office, vowing not to give up without a fight.

    “I told the voters just a few weeks ago,” Eves said, “that Dalton McGuinty was really a reptilian kitten-eater from another planet. But nobody believed me. I even put it on official Government of Ontario letterhead. But no!

    “I also warned them about his sharp, pointy little head. But did anyone listen?”

    Elsewhere across the province, from small towns and villages to larger cities, the scene was the same. Everywhere, swarms of reptilian invaders dressed in red uniforms marched from house to house, grabbing kittens and chanting the strange, alien war cry “Chuuzz chjngzz!” (Language experts at the Ministry of Education are working on translating the phrase, but so far have been able to determine only that it is probably not French.)

    “It was horrible!” said one resident of tiny Westport, Ont. “Horrible! They all have sharp, pointy little heads!”

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